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What to do when you want counseling but your spouse doesn’t

Like I said in my previous relationship post, marriage is a lot of work. It takes time and effort to have a happy marriage. Which is why we must always continue to improve our relationship with our spouse. I have been married for almost 10 years and I know how much work is involved. Good marriages struggle for many reasons. Some examples of these struggles are centred around infidelity, finances, in-laws interference, lack of intimacy, an addiction, unhealthy behaviours (manipulating, belittling, name-calling etc.), and so on.

If you marriage is dealing with any of these issues, you and your spouse may need some help from a qualified therapist. But the issue is, these days, many people shy away from counseling for various reasons. Many associate counseling with failure. To them, it means they have failed at their marriage. Others are just too ashamed to open up to a third-party and would rather keep at it or work away.

 

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What to do when you want counseling but your spouse doesn’t

So what do you do when you decide your marriage or relationship needs help but your spouse doesn’t want to speak with anyone? There are 2 options. You could decide to continue being unhappy in your marriage and pretend you are happy and fulfilled. Or you could try following these tips –

 

Give it some time

You could try giving it some time to see if your spouse changes his/her mind. Sometimes, time could help shed some light on the relationship issues and how to go about solving them. The last thing you would want is for your spouse to agree to see a Therapist with you grudgingly. You won’t get any results that way.

 

See a Therapist online

If your spouse is not comfortable with the idea of going to see a Therapist, you could try having online counseling sessions. Your spouse may be more open to these sessions as you can have it from the comfort of your homes and still achieve the same results. Online counseling works great for busy people or when your preferred Therapist is far away.

 

Think outside the box

You can try reading relationship books and blogs with your spouse. There are also various marriage podcasts and movies available you may both find helpful. Sometimes we need to think outside the box when we find ourselves in difficult situations like when you think your marriage needs help and your spouse disagrees.

 

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Work on yourself

When we are dealing with issues, it is always easier to blame someone else for all the problems, and play victim. But the first step in healing and improving is to work on ourselves. So that means reading self-improvement resources and seeing a qualified Therapist if needed to discuss issues. Having a great mental health is essential for a healthy marriage. So take a good look at the mirror and work on yourself.

 

Thanks for reading. Do feel free to leave a comment telling me what you think about relationship issues and going for couple counselling. Also, please remember to share this post on your social media platforms.

 

 

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4 Things You Need to Know Before You Go for Couple Therapy

Relationships are hard work. Both parties have to continue to give the relationship all they have in other for it to thrive. If one person is on board, and the other really isn’t, there is no way the relationship would survive. A good relationship can do wonders for our mental health, which is why it is so very important. Couple therapy can help save a relationship, and that explains why it is very popular today.

 

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Life is so busy with the endless work, commuting, childcare, and all the other responsibilities we have as adults. Sometimes, we forget to nurture our relationships. If your relationship is struggling, some couples therapy may be all it needs to bring the spark back to life. Here are 4 things you need to know before you go for couple therapy.

 

Make sure the Therapist is qualified

Before starting the therapy sessions, you should ensure the therapist is qualified to provide the services. The last thing you would want is having to waste your time with a half-baked counselor/therapist. Apart from the fact that you would both be wasting your time with an unqualified therapist, you won’t want to take on the wrong advice. So it is best to ensure the Therapist is qualified before you sign up for any sessions.

 

Set money aside

I am all about budgeting this year, so this tip shouldn’t surprise my regular readers. Once you are sure of the qualifications of the Therapist, you need to set some money aside for your sessions. You both need to decide on how much you are willing to spend on the counseling, and stick to your budget. It makes sense to set aside a realistic amount to cover the costs of the sessions, so you don’t end using a form of credit to pay up. Having a budget for your couple counseling that allows some room for flexibility is the way to go.

 

Have an initial session

You both need to see if you like your Therapist’s way of counseling. Having an initial session to check this is recommended. Counseling is a very personal experience. You would be answering very personal questions, so you need to like your therapist and be very comfortable. If not, it would be a waste of time and money.  You both also need to know the Therapist’s views on marriages and relationships, and ensure it sits well with both parties.

 

 

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Make sure you are both willing

This takes us back to the first thing I mentioned on here. You both need to be willing to put in the work for any relationship or marriage to work. The same goes for couple counselling. Both parties need to be willing to go for couple counselling and do all it takes to better the relationship. If one is on board and the other isn’t, it would be a waste of time. Communication is very important, and you need to communicate properly even more when you are undergoing couple counseling. Without communication, the therapy would be dead before it even starts.

 

What are your thoughts on this? Please share them in the comments section below. Thanks for stopping by.

 

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Lifestyle of a Secretive Billionaire


The lifestyle of billionaires always interest me. I find the way they live very fascinating. If I could be a billionaire or celebrity for a day, I would have the fun of my life for sure. Which is why Calvin Lo’s lifestyle intrigues me. Have you heard of him before?

 

All about the private rich

The rich folks always fascinate the general public, especially those that keep their lifestyle private. 
The best in the business are some of the richest, most powerful men and women on the planet, yet billionaires are typically reserved when it comes to the media spotlight. They shy away from interviews and cameras, which means the general public never really know anything about them. This increases the mystery surrounding them. 

 

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Lo, the billionaire that no one have heard of. Photograph: Apple Daily Hong Kong

Calvin Lo – The Secret Billionaire


In the finance world, few can boast the spending power of Hong Kong financier Calvin Lo, also known as 盧啟賢 in Asia, the CEO of R.E. Lee international, the largest life insurance broker in the world. His company regularly places around US$1 billion of premiums annually, making them the most successful life insurance broker in the world.  And while most of his rivals struggle to stay afloat, Lo is one of the few to always pay full freight. According to Forbes, Lo amassed an estimated personal fortune of around US$1.7 billion. Despite being supremely wealthy and successful, Lo manage to stay under the radar.




 

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Protected by his personal security, Lo walking into the VIP area of a French Champagne house where he dropped US$250 million. Photograph: Ming Pao Hong Kong


 

It was only when the Hong Kong press uncovered Lo’s visit to Champagne, France, earlier this year that the world start noticing him. It turns out that Lo is Asia’s biggest purchaser and collector of champagne. His most recent purchase was forking out US$250 million for his champagne collection.


How did Lo travel to France? In his Gulfstream G650 of course. With a list price of nearly US$65 million, you’ll have to wait for nearly four years to get one after you sign up. There are less than 20 of these extremely luxurious planes registered in Asia, and one of them is owned by Lo. Even though he does travel commercial (first class no less) every now and then, this billionaire prefers to enjoy his success in anonymity. His G650 allows him to fly without being recognised.

 

 

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This Gulfstream G650 is on standby for its camera-shy passenger, billionaire Lo. Photograph: Oriental Daily Hong Kong


But even billionaires who consciously stay under the radar and take whatever measures to avoid the press will occasionally surface in the public eye.  In late 2017, Lo was seen dining intimately with Hong Kong actress, Bernice Liu, better known as 廖碧兒. Their romance developed and the public couldn’t get enough of it.  There is something exhilarating and romantic about a supremely wealthy CEO and a beautiful actress being together. It screams class and glamour. By all accounts, Lo and Liu make a perfect couple as they are both incredibly attractive, successful in their industry and shares the same love for wines.  All the makings of a fairytale love story coming to life.

 

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Lo lives a passionate and attractive lifestyle with his beautiful girlfriend Liu. Photograph: Jaynestar


The fascination of Lo is  because he is a billionaire who apprears to live a normal life just like most of us do (with varying degree of luxurious perks). He sure do enjoy the anonymity. That is why you’ve never heard of him. So no interviews. No fancy cars. No attention seeking habits, just a simple person with loads of money. And not to mention he also falls in love just like all of us.

The nouveau riche want the world to sit up and take notice. The ultra-rich have already transitioned through that moment and prefer discretion. Lo is even beyond discretion and lives his lifee in secrecy. His ability and desire to stay under the radar of the public is a signal of how really important and influential he is.

 

Have you heard of Calvin Lo?

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