Have you ever experienced those moments when you meet someone who is impossible to deal with? You know, the kind who aren’t cooperative, who refuse to see things from another perspective other than theirs or who are inconsiderate. They come in so many forms that are unbearable. No matter how nice you try to be with them, it’s so frustrating trying to get along with them.
I’ve encountered a lot of difficult people in my life. At first I tried to avoid them as much as I could but hiding from them didn’t make them go away. Instead I devised new methods to handle difficult people. Here are some tips you’ll find helpful.
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Rise above their behaviour
If you’ve met a difficult person, chances are that you have tried to reason with them. But in the end, you realize that their behaviour beats all reason. Don’t react to their irrational behaviour with irritation, frustration or aggression. It’s not worth it and it only makes the situation worse.
What you should do is to not partake in their irrational behaviour. Don’t react to it, rationalize it or beat them at their game. And no matter how annoying their behaviour is don’t snap back. Just let them be.
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Set boundaries with everyone especially difficult people
Difficult people try to assert themselves on others for some strange reason. If you give in, believe me they will continue to with the crazy behaviour. The way to deal with this is to set healthy boundaries between you and that person.
When they try to assert themselves on you, you have to draw the line and tell them that they can’t treat you that way, and then move on. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down otherwise their irritable behaviour is going to continue.
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See through their drama
Difficult people don’t act difficult just because they decided to. There’s some underlying reason behind their behaviour. Sadly, difficult people don’t know how to communicate what they want to others. So they create drama, because that’s the only way they know how to communicate with others.
When you look at the situation in this light, it makes you feel compassion towards them. So before you react badly, make sure you pause for a few minutes to think about this. As you show compassion and show them that there is a better way they can communicate their wants clearly, then they would change.
- Don’t take it personally
Facing difficult people can make you feel horrible with yourself, lower your self-esteem and feel guilty for being resentful towards them. All this affects your mood and attitude to others. Their behaviour is not directed at making you feel bad but rather they don’t know any other way to communicate with others.
For the sake of your peace of mind, don’t take what they do personally. Focus on achieving your goals and living your amazing life. When you allow their annoying behaviour to get to your nerves, it distorts your day and makes your relationship with others go sour.
How do handle difficult people in your life?
Recently had a biggie with this. As I said before my husband passed away suddenly recently. It was and is still a horrendous time in our lives, of the adult youngsters and I. My in name only Brother in Law and Sister in Law caused absolute horrendous trouble when my husband (their brother) passed away. Fortunately our eldest son took over and dealt with him. I blocked them both on my mobile. It’s too long, horrible and dramatic to go into. Needless to say I know what my husband would do if he could get hold of his brother.
They are completely blocked from our lives now and will remain that way. Our eldest had to tell them he would ring the police if they came up here causing trouble. They didn’t come. The rest of the family did. The same people caused similar trouble when their Dad died many years ago. Should have expected it, but you just don’t and not to the level they went.
This is probably the worst we have been through. However yes I agree people like you describe and what I have just done have horrendous emotional problems. You have to put your boundaries in place and keep yourself safe. Every situation varies however boundaries in whatever way you need to, are very important. Paper and pen is very important to me, to get things off my chest, on paper stops the hamsters wheel in my head
I am so sorry to hear about the issues you had with the inlaws. I can only imagine how horrible the experience would have been for you. Sorry about your loss again. We always need to have our boundaries up to protect ourselves. Hope you have a great week.
I’ve had to deal with this.. sadly it happens the most with my mother.. I am at a point where I try my best to keep things light with her so that we can have some sort of a relationship but man,, it’s HARD!!!!!
I can imagine how hard it is.
It is especially when the other person isn’t willing to meet you half way
Yes. I usually stop trying with difficult people. They drain the life out of me. But since this is your mom, I totally understand.
I think people are difficult because they don’t know how to control their own emotions so reasoning with them is like talking to the wall. They wish they could calm down but this is too difficult for them. Your ideas are excellent, this is exactly what we should do. But the key is to learn to control our own emotions
Very true. Controlling our emotions helps.
These are some great tips! Sometimes these types of people just love to suck you into their drama and negativity so next time I am faced with this I shall remember your post!
Please do 😊
Though I am about to get married but I am very close to my woyld be in-laws. Issues are everywhere the only thing that matters is how you handle it, everyone has their own way.
I agree. Thanks for stopping by.
Great advice and something I could put into practice with my in-laws actually! Haha! Difficult people are everywhere sadly!
Yes they are. Terrible.
Totally agree! I would also add to stay away from them if possible. There is so much going on in life and you don’t need negative or dramatic people making it worse. I try to stay away from those people and avoid drama as much as I can.
Yes staying as far away from them as possible does help.
Great advice and such valid points that I need to make a habit. So much easier said than done though!
Yes I know. But it can be done. Thanks Lindsay.
I love this post and everything you said is right. Rising over their behavior is a must because they WANT to get a response out of you. They WANT to see what you’re going to do. But, you can’t give them what they want. You have to show them that you’re unbothered and stay calm and hopefully they’ll get it together.
I deal with difficult people just by not giving in to their crazy ways and speaking up.
True that Marie. That is the best way to deal with them.
I have to admit that I just tend to walk away and let them get on with it
Good way of dealing with them.
This is awful, but I’m a total avoider. If I have issues with you, I tend to ignore the issues and just not say anything unless you or the situation is worth dealing with. Ug!
My bff is exactly the same 😊
Interesting post!
I try to block difficult people and keep my distance as much as possible.
The worst is living with an difficult person because no matter how much you try to avoid them, your living with them.
Overall I don’t really like being around people in general
I prefer to be alone
Good to keep your distance when it comes to difficult people.
Proverbs 29:11 says, “A stupid person gives vent to all his feelings, But the wise one calmly keeps them in check.” Like you mentioned, I try to ignore them and stay calm. For those people that I have to work with, I only talk about work and keep it short. I also make sure they know their boundaries. I can deal with foolishness but not disrespect. I try to keep in mind Romans 12:17,18,21 which says, “Return evil for evil to no one… If possible, as far as it depends on you, be peaceable with all men. Do not let yourself be conquered by the evil, but keep conquering the evil with the good.” Doing that and a whole lot of prayer gets me through.
Thanks for your very useful comment. I need to remember these bible verses.