How to keep going without a support system

When I started blogging 5 years ago, I had very few real life supporters. Some of my friends and family members did support me but many didn’t. When I say support, I mean they didn’t visit my blog as regularly as I would want them to or didn’t bother visiting at all. Some did visit secretly but won’t leave a comment or share my blog post, so I didn’t consider that support. It was more of them being curious, noisy and to have something else to chat about. They didn’t share or comment on my blog posts but rather were quick to criticise and offer clueless advise.


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My Support System

So I had a very small support system with my mum being my greatest cheerleader. She was and still is my biggest support system when it comes to my work here online. And I am sure that is the same for many of us. Mothers are the best right?

I can never understand why people find it so hard to support other people’s dreams and passions. I don’t know anyone in my real life that blogs. The ones I did know back in the day, have abandoned their blogs so it sometimes gets to me. I wish I had friends with blogs so we could bounce off ideas and exchange crazy emails we get but I don’t have any of that unfortunately. I have made a few blogger friends online but not met any in real life really so it is still friendship from a distance. But back to the point, I struggled in the early days to keep blogging without a support system. I found it so difficult to get over the fact that people were just funny like that when you pursue your dreams.

I still remember a particular scenario concerning a certain lady I thought was a friend. I was so excited when I started Fashion and Style Police, I shared the link happily with her. The blog was just a couple of days old, so there were only a couple of blog posts on here. The only good thing this friend had to say was that there were only a few blog posts on here. And I was like what? I only started blogging the other day, how many were you hoping to see? She had nothing good to say except to criticise so I got rid of that friendship after a few more funny encounters.



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No Support System

Life has taught me that it is OK not to have a strong  support system when you embark on something that sets your soul on fire. It is OK not to get the validation form those closest to you. You don’t need the approval of anyone to pursue your dreams. It is great to have your family and friends in your corner, cheering you on but it is OK not to. As you carry on in the pursuit of happiness, whatever that might be, you will eventually get to a stage where you no longer notice those who support you as you will be overwhelmed with support from those that matter.

Close friendships may fade away with time and new real friendship that truly matter will develop. And at the end of day, you realise you don’t really need a support system to reach for the stars. It would be great to have one but you can still do you without one. Remember why you started and stay focused. Establish good relationships and break off those that undermine your business. Keep your circle small and tight. The rest would follow. Life has taught me that and much more…..


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37 responses

  1. Barely anyone I know IRL reads my blog or understands it, not even my mum! As for those friends who haven’t ever supported me or who have faded away, it makes me determined to succeed and follow my dreams even more. I have another business idea too and my closest family members just say ‘I’d not do that’ rather than supporting ME doing it because I want to do it!

  2. This could not be any more true to my heart right now. I know exactly what you mean, I am the same my mummy is my biggest supporter and you don’t need validation to pursue your dreams. however, it is shocking how many people around you such as friends do not provide support. Wish you the best and feel free to link in with me anytime hun 🙂 x

  3. This is the story of my life too…..

    Guess what, we get to a certain point whereby when we write a blog and there is NO SINGLE comment on it that we would NOT GIVE UP. This is what the mindset of successful people is like.

    And for those nosy, monitoring spirit friends, God is watching them in 100-inches-3D screen. They don’t matter. I know very much they use all the information you share but pretend as if they don’t see them…..
    Also, these are the people who are always quick to say, “I know him or her”, when you start shinning.

    We all need people BUT if nobody would be there, we must stand strong and keep forging ahead…..

    And hey, next year, I am up for a meet up. Let me know when is a good time. “A day in the city” maybe?

    Great post.


    M |

    • Thanks for your lovely comment hun. I guess many of us experience this. I found it shocking at first but not anymore. I don’t need any validation from anyone to do what I do.

      And yes we should meet up next year. We will plan something. A day in the city sounds nice xx

  4. I’m facing the same issue right now.. i just opened my blog early this week, i was so excited about it and shared the link with a couple of “closed friends ” and all i got was, “oh, i would check it out later”,almost discouraged me because they wrnt as happy as i was… but your post just really encouraged me more, so thanks for sharing

  5. I’m not a blogger has you know: I think unfortunately it’s a trait you describe alot of people do whatever your line of work or otherwise such as a hobby is. I habe certainlyvfoubd it to be true.

    People seem to want to do you down, through there own issues. Some even think they are doing you a favour being helpful with the negative comments.

    I have heard some awful stories that even family have said to others. There is no need. Jealousy is mainly at the back of it though the person wouldn’t admit it.

    You can be supportive in a helpful way. If you can’t say anything nice then keep your mouth shut some people need to learn

    • Yes they need to learn. It amazes me how people don’t know these simple things but I feel it boils down tope envy most of the time. Thanks for reading.

  6. You know, when I started four years ago it was the same, I have a few blogger friends and met a couple but lost touch with many. The real life friends who know about my blog only wants to interact when i have products that they would love so ditched those and the rest well they don’t support but mty family does and they have been great.

    I would love to meet you one day btw 🙂

    • Yea I know all about everyone wanting a freebie that is not free for us. Thanks for your lovely comment. I would love to meet you one day too. Am sure it would happen 😊

  7. This is exactly what I am going through right now it can be so disheartening when you do called friends and family do not support you. I have to be my number one fan. But that’s fine as I’m not doing it for others validation.

    It’s a great post.


  8. It’s such a strange job to hold and it’s taken my family (even those closest to me like my other half and my mum) a long time to understand. I’m not sure they do fully now. I have worked so hard and it’s really starting to pay off yet it saddens me that they couldn’t champion me from the beginning and only really do it now that I’m doing so well. On the other hand it’s taught me that I’m strong and can succeed even if no one believes in me.

  9. This is an area I am still struggling with too. I haven’t officially told friends and family about my blog as I’m not sure how they’ll react. It also affects what i write as i can’t be too honest about certain situations in case the people read it hahaha

  10. I have a few friends and family who read my blog posts but they never comment or like. I just get “oh yeah I read that”. Thanks! I have no support other than my hubby and it’s hard at times x

  11. Totally relate to this! I used to be really bothered by the lack of support from my friends – only one or two subscribed and very few actually share or comment on my Facebook page. I am sure they also come over for a nosy because every now and again someone will drop into conversation that they’d seen a certain recipe or even baked it. People don’t realise that we take this fairly seriously – I think they just think we put up a few photos and words and that’s it!

  12. I feel very grateful that my friends and family are amongst my loyal readers and biggest champions. Maybe it’s partly because we live abroad, so it’s another way for them to keep in touch.

  13. Well true in life you always need family and friend’s support especially if you live abroad. True talk. You talk about family without recognising your secret Mr M. Isn’t he part of your support system. Or all you have achieved so far has been without his support?

  14. Hi!! I love this post so much I’m a aspiring journalist and I love to write ! I got discouraged about my blogg because like you not many people supported me. I am a new blogger and hope to advance it in one day ! Thank you so much

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  16. I’m in the same situation here. When I asked most of my friend to read at least just one post they don’t even care. They’re few to support me just my family, and about 10% of my friends. I just got to keep going until one day people start acknowledge my work.

  17. Thanks for this post – I’m a very new blogger in a very big pond and feeling anxious about how my friends and family are going to react to it, hoping they don’t think it’s lame. Ridiculous really that we seek the approval of others but I’m tying to remind myself that I’m doing this for me and me only xx

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