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You can’t pour from an empty cup

The older I become, the more I start to take good care of myself. The saying – you can’t pour from an empty cup is so true. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t care for others, which is why I now pay attention to my both my physical and my mental health. As a twin mum, it is so easy to put myself last every time. I still put myself last every now and again if I am being completely honest, but I am now conscious about the fact that I need to care for me in order to care for everyone else.

 

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The easiest way to avoid burning out is to make sure your cup is filled. Pay attention to your well being and mental health. Don’t neglect yourself in the process of taking care of everyone else. Ensuring your cup stays filled, depending  on your lifestyle, can be tricky in this day and age with so many responsibilities and distractions. But this is not something you should push aside. Here are some quick tips you can implement today to help you pay more attention to you –

 

Stay active

It is 2019 and there are so many ways to stay active, so no excuses. You could go to a gym or bring the gym to your house thanks to YouTube. There are so many fitness videos on the platform to get you moving. All you need is time, a good internet connection and dedication.

Going for walks is another way to stay active. The school run helps me get out and about on my feet. Walks are a good way of staying active. They are also great for my mental health as they help me clear my head.

 

Spoil yourself

You should ensure you spoil yourself every now and again. Do something you really enjoy at least once a day/week. It doesn’t have to be anything pricey or complicated, it could be as simple as reading a book you enjoy or watching a great TV show in the evening when the rest of the house is asleep. It could also be booking a massage session for yourself or getting your house cleaned while you just relax and unwind. Whatever it is you do, the most important thing is to make sure the activity leaves you relaxed and refreshed.

 

Get rest

The benefits of quality sleep are too many to mention in this blog post, but many of us already know all about the healing powers of sleep. Our body repairs itself while we sleep, so ensuring we get a good night’s rest is another way to keeping our cup filled. I am very grumpy when I don’t sleep well, so I make sure I get a decent amount of sleep every night to feel like myself. I aim for 7/8 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night.

 

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Say NO more often

I have never been a Yes person, but the older I have become, the more I now say NO. It is ok to say Yes if you want to and if you really mean it, but don’t feel obliged to do things just because someone is asking. If it is not convenient or it is too much of an ask, say NO. Say Yes to yourself more, yes to getting adequate rest, spoiling yourself, and just being there for yourself more. It is great for your well being and state of mind.

 

Follow your passions

Focus on yourself and follow your passions. You are of no use to anyone if you are unhappy or depressed. Your dreams and heart desires matter, so pay attention to them.

 

Healthy boundaries

There is power in having healthy boundaries because they create healthy relationship, that is best for everyone. While lack of boundaries create toxic  settings. Having healthy boundaries are great for your health and they help you stay mindful of you. I can go on and on about the importance of making sure you have your boundaries up when dealing with people. Healthy boundaries help you have great relationships with yourself and others.

 

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Stay away from toxic relationships

Speaking of healthy boundaries, toxic people don’t like boundaries. They like to suck the life out of people, which is why it’s best to stay away from them. Once I read you and I see you are trouble, I stay very far away.

 

Remain positive

It is so easy to develop a negative mindset with all the issues and challenges we encounter. However, we must remain positive in other to attract positivity into our lives. I choose to remain positive no matter what life throws at me. It can be hard on some days but I quickly pick myself right up. That way I am happier and my cup remains full. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

 

How do you ensure you cup stays full? Please share any self care tips that has worked for you.

 

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Why we don’t celebrate Halloween

Today is Halloween and the excitement is definitely in the air for many. We are on holiday as it is half term here in the UK, and the kiddies are having an amazing time. It is great to unwind and take a break from our regular routine. This is the last holiday we have until Christmas, so we are making the most of it. I will be writing about our half term fun and all what we got up to in a bit, but for now, it is all about why we don’t celebrate Halloween. The twins get excited about Halloween because they hear about it from the world somehow and they get to see houses decorated. So naturally they have asked questions about Halloween and why we don’t get to celebrate it.

 

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No right or wrong

There is nothing right or wrong about celebrating Halloween. It is a pagan holiday – All Hallow’s Eve (Nov. 1), that has now become quite popular in the western part of the world, and brands have cashed in on the popularity. However, I don’t believe in celebrating a holiday for the sake of it. It should have a meaning and I have to believe in the meaning to celebrate it. The meaning of Halloween is pointless to us  and we don’t see why we should take part in it. Which is why we don’t celebrate Halloween. I could work with brands on Halloween related collaborations like I have done in the past if I believe in the message and if it is fun to do, but it is not a celebration I acknowledge. If I have to do jobs like that, I put my on spin on it and I do it as long as it does not affect me personally. So no pumpkins here, no Halloween decorations or trick or treat. It is just a normal day for us.

The twins have come to understand that and they no longer question why we don’t celebrate Halloween. Being around people crazy about October 31 can be draining sometimes, but it is not something they question anymore. I have nothing against Halloween or people who celebrate the day. There’s no right or wrong way of looking at it. It is just down to my personal taste and choice.

Do you celebrate Halloween? Do sound off in the comments section below and have fun celebrating or not celebrating the day.

Protecting Your Family From Digital Dangers

*Collaborative post.

Today’s kids are growing up in a digital world. While digital technology can often have its benefits, it’s important to also be wary of the dangers it can pose to your family. Here are just some of the biggest digital dangers and how you can protect your family from them.

 

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Addiction

It’s easy to become addicted to digital technology – especially now that phones, TVs and games consoles all of internet access. Some families can spend all their time staring at screens and never really socialising with each other. This can have a major impact on family relationships as well as leading to depression and anxiety.

There are also physical health problems that can develop from spending too much time using digital technology. The idea that people get ‘square eyes’ is an old wives’ tale, however a lot of people can get eye strain and headaches from staring at a screen for too long, as well as finding it hard to get to sleep (staring at a bright screen before bed can sometimes trick our brains into thinking that it’s still daytime, preventing us from producing melatonin).

Limiting screen time is the best way to prevent addiction. If the whole family spends a lot of their time staring at screens, it could be time to introduce a screen-free hour each day. This could help to encourage time spent together as a family or time spent pursuing other interests that don’t involve digital technology.

Some kids may protest to this, in which case you may have to take measures such as turning off the wi-fi for an hour per day or even confiscating devices. Alternatively, you may be able to use parental controls on devices to put a limit on screen time. If you don’t feel such measures are needed you could simply set rewards for not spending so much time on devices.

Digital addiction is something that can often be prevented in kids by taking action early. Many of us are guilty of giving out kids a smartphone or tablet as a distraction tool, but this shouldn’t become a regular habit to the point that screens replace toys. You may also want to be careful of giving kids their own phone or tablet too early – or only letting them have these devices an hour or two a day at first.

 

Fraud and theft

Digital technology has also become a new tool for criminals. While most criminals target businesses, everyday people and homes can also get targeted. Using details acquired online, criminals can hack into accounts or even plan burglaries. Such details can often be given away by kids who are generally less wary of the consequences.

The importance of online privacy is something that should be taught to kids – especially as they start buying things online themselves or using social media. Teach kids what they should and shouldn’t share on online (i.e. no financial details or passwords) and teach them to use privacy settings. You should also encourage them to only use only trusted websites (there are security programmes that can alert you when a site is not trusted).

The likes of this Borgata online privacy guide could be worth reading if you’re not sure yourself of what measures you should be taking. Many people for instance are unaware of certain fundamentals like cookies and SSL certificates.

 

Bullying

Bullying has now also moved online and can be a big danger to kids – particularly teenagers who are old enough to use social media. Online bullying tactics can include posting horrible comments about people, sharing embarrassing photos or videos or constantly harassing people on messenger platforms.

Not all kids are victims of online bullying and it can be hard to prevent, however you may be able to warn kids about it simply by talking about it and by teaching them how to react when it starts to take place. This could include immediately telling parents or teachers about a bullying problem or blocking people on social media platforms.

The threat of online bullying can also be reduced by discouraging addiction of digital technology. It’s much easier for kids to get away from online bullying if they’re able to turn off from it, whether it be not going on social media or not using certain devices.

The likes of this Understood online bullying guide are worth reading for more strategies on how to spot online bullying and stop it. You can also find many counselling services online for kids that are being bullied online and for the parents dealing with this issue.

 

Online predators

The web has also unfortunately become a common place for sexual predators to locate and target children. If your kids are going to use digital devices without your supervision, it’s important that you warn them about predators and how to prevent contact with them.

A good lesson to teach – which applies to the real world too – is to not talk to strangers. Predators will often try to connect to children through online games and apps, so try to persuade your kids not to talk to strangers on these platforms. As for when your kids start using social media, tell them to never accept friend requests from people they don’t know. Alternatively, you could teach your kids to come to you if a stranger is sending them messages – this way you can check the messages to determine whether you think they are worthy of concern.

This Bark guide could be worth reading for more information on how to protect your kids from online predators. Parental controls on some devices may be able to help prevent contact with these individuals as well as preventing your kids from accessing graphic content.

 

 

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