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What to do when you want counseling but your spouse doesn’t

Like I said in my previous relationship post, marriage is a lot of work. It takes time and effort to have a happy marriage. Which is why we must always continue to improve our relationship with our spouse. I have been married for almost 10 years and I know how much work is involved. Good marriages struggle for many reasons. Some examples of these struggles are centred around infidelity, finances, in-laws interference, lack of intimacy, an addiction, unhealthy behaviours (manipulating, belittling, name-calling etc.), and so on.

If you marriage is dealing with any of these issues, you and your spouse may need some help from a qualified therapist. But the issue is, these days, many people shy away from counseling for various reasons. Many associate counseling with failure. To them, it means they have failed at their marriage. Others are just too ashamed to open up to a third-party and would rather keep at it or work away.

 

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What to do when you want counseling but your spouse doesn’t

So what do you do when you decide your marriage or relationship needs help but your spouse doesn’t want to speak with anyone? There are 2 options. You could decide to continue being unhappy in your marriage and pretend you are happy and fulfilled. Or you could try following these tips –

 

Give it some time

You could try giving it some time to see if your spouse changes his/her mind. Sometimes, time could help shed some light on the relationship issues and how to go about solving them. The last thing you would want is for your spouse to agree to see a Therapist with you grudgingly. You won’t get any results that way.

 

See a Therapist online

If your spouse is not comfortable with the idea of going to see a Therapist, you could try having online counseling sessions. Your spouse may be more open to these sessions as you can have it from the comfort of your homes and still achieve the same results. Online counseling works great for busy people or when your preferred Therapist is far away.

 

Think outside the box

You can try reading relationship books and blogs with your spouse. There are also various marriage podcasts and movies available you may both find helpful. Sometimes we need to think outside the box when we find ourselves in difficult situations like when you think your marriage needs help and your spouse disagrees.

 

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Work on yourself

When we are dealing with issues, it is always easier to blame someone else for all the problems, and play victim. But the first step in healing and improving is to work on ourselves. So that means reading self-improvement resources and seeing a qualified Therapist if needed to discuss issues. Having a great mental health is essential for a healthy marriage. So take a good look at the mirror and work on yourself.

 

Thanks for reading. Do feel free to leave a comment telling me what you think about relationship issues and going for couple counselling. Also, please remember to share this post on your social media platforms.

 

 

*Collaborative post.

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Getting the Right Online Counselling

Christmas is around the corner and everyone is generally in a good mood. The beautiful decorations, gifts shopping and festivity play a huge part in putting a smile on everyone’s face. It really is the most wonderful time of the year for many. But there are some of us that struggle with life and its challenges, the struggle is even more severe during Christmas.

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This maybe because the whole holiday season makes anyone who is struggling with depression, stress, mood swings and anxiety feel even more alone, more excluded. It can be hard work having a smile on the outside when you are crying on the inside. Which is why I am writing this post.

 

What is Online Counseling?

Before I go any further, I should explain what Online Counselling is all about. It is mental health counselling done through the Internet, via any device that goes online.

 

Getting the Right Online Counselling

When life gets busy, it can be tricky to find the time to take care of our mental health. Which is why I am very happy to know there are now online counsellors available to help those who need some it.

Having accessible and affordable online counselling with qualified psychologists, marriage and family therapists, clinical social workers, and board licensed professional counsellors would help many people get help from the comfort of their homes.

Here are ways you could get the right online counselling –

 

Decide on the type of counselling you are after

This is the first step in your online counselling journey. You have to decide on what type of counselling you are looking for. Are you after individual counselling for yourself, couple counselling for yourself and partner or child counselling for your dependant(s)?

Once you know what sort of help you are after, you can then proceed in finding the best in that field.

 

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Make sure your online counsellor is qualified and experienced

Before you start your counselling, make sure the online counsellor is well qualified and experienced. This will ensure you are in the right hands. The last thing you need when dealing with mental health issues is to find that the counsellor is not as qualified or experienced as you would like. Reputable therapists will be registered with a professional organisations, so do your checks before you start.

 

Make sure you are happy with your therapist

You should ensure you are 100% happy with your therapist. If you are not unhappy with the therapist chosen for you, or you are uncomfortable with a certain therapist, you should ensure you swap for someone you can completely open up to. If the energy doesn’t feel right, just swap.

 

Ensure you can afford the service

Make sure you can afford the service. Read the terms and conditions, and any small print with pricing information. That way you know what to expect when the free trial (if any) is over, and you are sure of the prices going forward.

 

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I am happy we now have these accessible online therapy services. It is good to know they are available for anyone who needs them. There is really no excuse to not get help if you are struggling with your mental health. Our mental health is as important as our physical health, and we should take care of it.

 

The Samaritans can be called on 116 123.In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255.

 

*Collaborative post.

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