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What to do when you want counseling but your spouse doesn’t

Like I said in my previous relationship post, marriage is a lot of work. It takes time and effort to have a happy marriage. Which is why we must always continue to improve our relationship with our spouse. I have been married for almost 10 years and I know how much work is involved. Good marriages struggle for many reasons. Some examples of these struggles are centred around infidelity, finances, in-laws interference, lack of intimacy, an addiction, unhealthy behaviours (manipulating, belittling, name-calling etc.), and so on.

If you marriage is dealing with any of these issues, you and your spouse may need some help from a qualified therapist. But the issue is, these days, many people shy away from counseling for various reasons. Many associate counseling with failure. To them, it means they have failed at their marriage. Others are just too ashamed to open up to a third-party and would rather keep at it or work away.

 

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What to do when you want counseling but your spouse doesn’t

So what do you do when you decide your marriage or relationship needs help but your spouse doesn’t want to speak with anyone? There are 2 options. You could decide to continue being unhappy in your marriage and pretend you are happy and fulfilled. Or you could try following these tips –

 

Give it some time

You could try giving it some time to see if your spouse changes his/her mind. Sometimes, time could help shed some light on the relationship issues and how to go about solving them. The last thing you would want is for your spouse to agree to see a Therapist with you grudgingly. You won’t get any results that way.

 

See a Therapist online

If your spouse is not comfortable with the idea of going to see a Therapist, you could try having online counseling sessions. Your spouse may be more open to these sessions as you can have it from the comfort of your homes and still achieve the same results. Online counseling works great for busy people or when your preferred Therapist is far away.

 

Think outside the box

You can try reading relationship books and blogs with your spouse. There are also various marriage podcasts and movies available you may both find helpful. Sometimes we need to think outside the box when we find ourselves in difficult situations like when you think your marriage needs help and your spouse disagrees.

 

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Work on yourself

When we are dealing with issues, it is always easier to blame someone else for all the problems, and play victim. But the first step in healing and improving is to work on ourselves. So that means reading self-improvement resources and seeing a qualified Therapist if needed to discuss issues. Having a great mental health is essential for a healthy marriage. So take a good look at the mirror and work on yourself.

 

Thanks for reading. Do feel free to leave a comment telling me what you think about relationship issues and going for couple counselling. Also, please remember to share this post on your social media platforms.

 

 

*Collaborative post.

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12 responses

  1. I think these are really great pieces of advice. Giving it some time and working on ourselves can be a big help. Maybe things would work out somehow and the need for counseling would not be there anymore.

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