Tag Archives: Self-love

Self love is the best kind of love

October 22, 2020 By in Lifestyle Tags: , , , , , , , 16 Comments

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Loving ourselves unconditionally is really important. These days, it is so easy to compare ourselves and our lives with that of others. Social media makes it dead easy to scroll through the parts of our online friends’ carefully curated feed and wish our lives were as perfect as their lives. We see their perfectly filtered faces and bodies, and we wish we looked as good as they look. It is all nonsense. Social media is purely entertainment for me. I do find some of it informative but I know it is the curated life of others and not really the reality for many. Which is why I take what I see with a pinch of salt and focus on me.

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Self-love is the best kind of love

Once you love your imperfect self unconditionally, you become free, free to just be you. You won’t obsess over what your online friends are doing with their lives or how perfect they look because you will be too busy living your imperfect life perfectly. We are all beautifully and wonderfully made, and we have our own uniqueness that makes us special. Focusing on that and loving every aspect of ourselves is how to fall deeper and deeper in love with our life.

Filtered lives online are becoming trendy. Many people feel like everyone else is living their best lives apart from them, but that is usually not the case. You never know what is really going on in the lives of others. What you see online is the version they are willing to share with their social media followers. It may not be their reality, which is why you should not envy others because you never really know. Instead, focus on you and shower yourself with love.

Self-love tips

Here are 4 self-love tips you may find very useful –

Embrace your quirks and all

We are all very special and we have certain aspects of ourselves that are uniquely ours. The foundation of loving yourself unconditionally is to embrace all parts of yourself. Most times we may be tempted to dumb down our quirks in other not to stand out too much but we should really be doing the opposite. For instance, if you are registered on dating websites, putting your quirks out there would make it easier to find your perfect mate.

Live intentionally

Now, this tip is a big one for me. I find that it is super easy to just take each day as it comes and not aspire to do anything ‘major’ with your life. Not living intentionally will do you no favours. You should aim high, dream big, and live every day intentionally.

Forgive yourself

Many of us would have made mistakes (or what we call mistakes) over the years. It is normal and all part of growing up. Forgiving yourself is really important when it comes to learning to love yourself unconditionally.

Set boundaries and protect yourself

With self-love, you need to set boundaries with others. Having healthy boundaries would protect you physically, mentally, and emotionally. You don’t want just anyone to have access to you or live in your head rent-free. Also, setting boundaries would help you say no when you need to say no, and get rid of people who do not want the best for you.

Do you have any self-love tips to share?

 

 

15 Things You Need To Know About Self Love

August 14, 2019 By in Lifestyle Tags: , , , , , , 11 Comments

*Collaborative post.

Self love encompasses many things, not just looking in the mirror and thinking you look nice. Self love is all about becoming your own best friend, putting your needs first, and letting everybody know what a badass you are. Below, we’ll take a look at 15 things you need to know about self love. By the end, you’ll know exactly what to do to fall head over heels in love with yourself! 

 

 

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  1. You Are Enough

The first thing you need to know, is that you are enough. This makes a wonderful mantra! Repeat this to yourself whenever you’re feeling unsure of yourself and your worth. You are enough whatever your size or shape, whatever your situation. You don’t have to change or be anything that you’re not right now. This doesn’t mean that you can’t make changes if it’s what you really want, but understand that you don’t have to. 

 

  1. Comparing Yourself To Others Is A Waste Of Time 

Comparing yourself to anybody else is a complete waste of time. No two people are the same. You are completely one of a kind and unique, so why on earth would you want to compare yourself to anyone else? Especially if you’re doing the comparisons via social media. You just don’t know who’s telling lies on social media, who is photoshopping their bodies, and whose only showing you the great things that happen to them. 

 

  1. Focus On Your Strengths

Rather than focus on the things you believe aren’t enough or your weaknesses, focus on your strengths. What have you always liked about yourself? What do other people comment on a lot? What are you most proud of? What are you really good at? 

 

  1. You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To

Many people put off following their dreams and passions because of a lack of confidence. They just don’t think that they have what it takes to get to where they want to be. However, if you don’t try, you won’t get there! You have to change your mindset, and realize that with enough positivity, effort, and visualization, you can get just about anywhere. 

 

  1. You Are Not Your Thoughts 

Many people closely associate themselves with the thoughts they are having. If they find themselves having negative thoughts one day, they assume they are in a terrible mood and let everybody know about it. However, you are not your thoughts. If you find yourself thinking negatively, think of your thoughts as like a radio station and just change the channel. Flip negative thoughts around and try to see any and all positives you can. Alternatively, just think about something else. You get to choose what you focus on. Of course, you might want to see a doctor and have an assessment if negative thoughts are taking over your life, as you may have a chemical imbalance and need treatment. 

 

 

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  1. You Are Not What Others Think of You

Other people don’t like you? So what? You’re not them, and they don’t matter to you. You are not what others think of you, or what they say you are, you are what you say you are. Remember that. 

 

  1. Your Body Is The Least Interesting Thing About You

So many people don’t love themselves or think they are not worthy of love because their bodies don’t fit into society’s ‘ideal’. However, you have to remember that your body is the least interesting thing about you. Obsessing over it will do you no good. If you’ve been considering surgery such as breast enlargement to enhance your self image, make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. While having things like this done can give you a little confidence boost, they won’t help you at all if you don’t love yourself. They won’t fix all of your problems.  

 

  1. You Have To Love Yourself First

Before you can love anybody else, and before you can enjoy the love that you truly deserve, you need to love yourself. Pure and simple. If you’re single, stay single until you love yourself. You can’t expect your partner to do it all for you. Plus, when you love yourself, you’ll attract healthier relationships. 

 

  1. You Need To Protect Your Energy

Protecting your energy is all about setting boundaries and not letting what others say and do affect you. This means being careful about who you spend time around, as well as what you agree to doing. Say no to things you don’t want to do. This is an act of self love in itself. Avoid relationships that you know are no good for you – even if it’s a friendship. You don’t owe anybody anything, especially if they are making you feel terrible. 

 

  1. Learn How To Accept A Compliment 

We’ve all deflected a compliment at one time or another, but there’s no nobility in this. Chances are, this person is giving you a compliment because they genuinely believe it. Rather than telling them they are wrong, or that they are better, just say thank you. That’s all you have to say. Isn’t it strange how we can recall almost every nasty thing somebody has said to us, but we can’t remember the compliments? Try to commit them to memory!

 

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  1. Perfection Doesn’t Exist 

Striving for perfection isn’t a good idea. Perfection does not exist. Everybody and everything is flawed in its own unique way. Embrace whatever your ‘flaws are’, whether this is cellulite, stretch marks, or something else. Let go of perfect and you’ll feel free. 

 

  1. The Things You Do Every Day Really Add Up

Remember, when it comes to self love, it’s about the things you do each day. These things really add up. You can’t expect to work yourself to the point of burn out each week, take a bath and it all go away. You need to constantly practice looking after yourself. This means sleeping well each night, eating well balanced meals each day, exercising in a way you enjoy multiple times a week, having fun, avoiding toxic influences and habits, and even meditation. 

These little habits make the biggest difference, so make the effort to incorporate them into your daily routine now. For example, you could start your day with a pint of water, head to the gym for half an hour, eat a balanced breakfast, read a chapter of a self help book, meditate for 10 minutes, and then start on your chores. If you can do as many of these healthy habits in the morning as possible, you won’t be able to make excuses for not doing them later in the day. Life can get in the way, and we tend to slow down as we approach the afternoon, so get these things done. 

If you skip something one day, don’t fret. Just do it the next day. It isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being consistent. 

 

 

  1. Go After What You Really Want

Don’t stay in a job you hate, and do things every day for somebody else when you could be working towards your own goals and dreams. You have to go after what you really want, because nobody else is going to do it for you. Don’t know what it is you really want? Figure it out. Take your time. Then go for it. Here are a few ideas:

  • Take short classes and workshops to get an idea of your hobbies and interests
  • Do something while you enjoy it. If you stop enjoying it, don’t do it.
  • Think about the lifestyle you’d like to lead. 
  • Would you like to work for yourself? Start a business? 
  • Keep a journal and see if there are any clues! 

 

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  1. Head To New Places

When you visit new places, you’ll learn so much about yourself. Solo travel is even better, because it gives you the perfect opportunity to get comfortable with your own company and figure out your likes and dislikes. Many people hate the idea of travelling alone because they are scared of being by themselves. For this same reason, many people don’t like to be single for long. However, enjoying your own company is one of the greatest pleasures of life. Solo travel and see how you like it!

 

  1. Don’t Talk Down Your Achievements 

When talking to somebody about your achievements, don’t play them down. Telling people about things you’ve achieved doesn’t make you boastful or bigheaded. Let people know what you are capable of, and be proud of yourself! 

 

Self love can be tricky to navigate, especially if you grew up believing loving yourself was a bad thing. Loving yourself will be one of the most important things you learn to do, but it’s essential if you’re going to live a happy, healthy life, full of great relationships with other people. How you feel about yourself will greatly impact your interactions with others, and your life as a whole. Don’t kid yourself into thinking it won’t make a big difference. It will. 

 

What are you going to do today to practice self love? Leave a comment!

 

Why Saying NO More Often is Good for You

June 16, 2017 By in Lifestyle Tags: , , , , , , 33 Comments

Everyday you’re faced with circumstances that will push you to make decisions. Most times it’s either a “Yes” or a “No”. The answer you give will either make you happy or sad. Of course, although nobody will happily choose sadness, there have been times when you sacrificed your happiness or peace of mind for the happiness of others.

 

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We know “yes” to denote positivity, optimism or openness to receive only the best, while “no” denotes the negative, pessimism or closed doors. Over time I realized that if you want to say “yes” to a happy, blissful life, you need to start saying more “nos”. Hard to believe? Here are 4 reasons why saying “no” is actually good for you.

  1. People start respecting you

When you are clear about what you want, never be afraid to draw the line. People will respect you when you respect yourself and your time. Drawing boundaries keeps you empowered. You will not be treated like a doormat or push over. Saying “no” will give the impression that you have a life and you have things you value. But most of all it tells people who value YOUR time. Time is an asset you can’t take back so you’d rather spend it on something more worthwhile.

  1. It’s an act of self-love

Serving people is a good thing. But you’ll only be able to give quality service if and only if you give it to yourself first. Remember the saying “love your neighbour as yourself”? Saying “no” so that you have time for yourself is a way of showering yourself with love. You give yourself, your comfort and your goals priority over others. All these build you up. When you’re strong in your love and appreciation of yourself and your mission in life, it is so much easier to be there for others. Self care and love is needed for a fulfilling life.

  1. You save time

You know how you always say “I don’t have time” or “I have so much to do”? If you honestly examine your life and daily activities you’ll observe that 99.9% of the time you could have used to do something so much more important, is spent on devoting your time to someone else. Saying NO regularly gets rid of the selfish people in your life. You’ll no longer have to deal with their unreasonable requests or fit other’s activities into your itinerary, if it is not convenient.

  1. You are in control of your life

When you say “yes” to everything and everyone around you, you’ll find your life being dictated by people. They’ll be the one who will encroach on your time and space. Saying “no” gives you the upper hand in your life. No one will be able to tell you how you should spend your day. When you begin to say “no” you will be able to plan your time and do the things you want to do. You will have a life to live and goals to pursue.

Don’t underrate the powerful word “NO”. It may be small yet difficult to say. But when you’re able to break free and make the transition, you will be the one who will live your life on your own terms and not on the terms of others.

 

Do you struggle to say no regularly?

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